ugh...

Well today was not a good day for food... oh well... actually it hasn't been the greatest of weeks and I am glad that it is all over. I started well with a spin in the am on both Monday and Friday - but many things just deteriorated from there... I think I am going to make some bread tonight...

This hasn't discouraged me from just doing better - today is just that day when it just didn't happen for me. The day started out great with a great spin in the morning - but I didn't keep it up with the food. Why is my biggest downfall always the food!!!! Oh well... tomorrow is another day and I can only do better from this point forward. I've already beat myself up about it enough today I just need to move on.

Yesterday my TA (who is Filipina) told me I was getting fat. I told her straight out that you just don't say that to people (who you are not on close terms with). She laughed more to hide her embarrassment but it totally didn't help the situation. Yes, the weight or the look thing is really bugging me - but it is also the healthy lifestyle is too. I just don't feel healthy mentally and physically. And I just want to get over that hump to be there! Where is the magic button!?!?!?

Well for one, it is regular exercise - not just lip service exercise but intense exercise. That will help lots.  Two it is food - food that I like that is healthy. I've been pretty good at eliminating a lot of carbs and portion control but I haven't gotten rid of it completely. But I am better at not choosing to eat pasta, bread or noodles... and if they creep in there then it is a controlled portion of food.

So still some progress but there needs to be more. Hard deadlines don't really work for me, but I need to make some commitments to things so that I can make it work for myself. I've made two today and that should help...

Wednesdays after school I will be spinning or doing a TRX workout with a colleague/friend of mine. That will help with getting me in a routine.

Fridays - during our planning time is a workout with the same colleague/friend. We got to get something done or else Fridays will be a total write off...

Any morning earlier in the week I am going to spin - so I don't have to worry about doing it after school - more family time...

Food - going to get some meals cooked and frozen ahead of time so that that frees up some of the prep at home. But more veg and fresh fruit needs to be consumed. I need to look at my breakfast options again. Scrambled eggs are great but I don't know if it is helping. Maybe I should limit it to 3 times a week. On days when I work out first it should probably be fruits and veg...

Like they said, it is all about the food... but I need to get my head space in ship shape. Work is a little stressful because I want to switch positions. It should be pretty straight forward but who knows... I don't hold the cards and those that do keep it close to their chest... I looked at photos from the past 10 years and I was thinking that there needs to be a way to get back to being carefree. I am sure you can be even with two kids under the age of 5... but there has to be a way back to that life. Yes things can be stressful, but it's all perspective...

Hmmmm... I will find a way. Even through my disjointed and random thoughts of this post I am sure I will find a way...

Spinning my wheels...

So I have managed a work week with mostly no carbs... I say mostly because the evenings have been a little harder to avoid them, but during the day it has been good.

I start most mornings off with scrambled eggs and some fruit. I've also ditched my beloved non-fat latte for Earl Grey Tea (thanks Captain Picard) so that has helped some. Lunch is a little big... some sort of meat with cooked vegetables if I know that I am going to make salad for dinner, if not it would be a salad at lunch if I know I might have something I shouldn't at dinner.

The week has been good with salad and meat for dinner. One night we did go out for pizza because I needed to get new running shoes. I was quite proud of myself for just having one piece of the pan crust pizza. I enjoyed every bite of that fried goodness. We did have a salad with that too - so that helped. What didn't was the sweetened ice tea that went with it. I think the standard drink will have to be soda water from now on to get rid of the sugar content.

Another night I did make tortellini for dinner - it was spinach and cheese tortellini with tomato sauce. I didn't have other kinds of beans besides cannelli beans so making a bean salad was out of the question. But I did limit myself to just one scoop of tortellini which was about half a cup. So in a way that has made me happy that I was able to control my portion size and not eat heaps and heaps of food especially carbs.

Working out has been good. I've subscribed to Realfit.tv so that I can spin to all those awesome cycling videos that Dana Lee (the instructor) puts up there. She also had a 30 minute TRX workout which was awesome and totally left me sore in all my muscle groups. I figure if I can spin 3 times a week, to a TRX work out and a yoga each week and something extra on the weekends that would be great. I like walking but I am finding that it is not heart rate pumping enough for me. I like the feel of exhaustion at the end of a work out. But I should endeavor to walk more to and from work, especially when the weather gets cooler. Right now it is just hot and humid. 

So I think it has been a good first week of me trying to get myself back in gear... I have to admit that this is a bit of a blah post... but honestly that is how I feel... I guess it comes from a couple of things like frustration, lack of sleep and impatience to get a fit body back. I was looking at that appetite suppression pill that is all the rage - Garcinia Cambogia - and it's success story with so many people. The before and after photos of so many people makes you think that this might actually work. But really - I tend to be skeptical when it comes to something like this... how can one little pill actually work. It says it is because it supresses your appetite while still burning fat... hmmm I don't know. However for 20 bucks I'm willing to try it... of course if I lived in the US it would be easy - but I live in Thailand. Chances of me finding that product here in Thailand - I don't know. There is another one that is supposed to help cleans your colon too... so in combination of the two it should help you lose 15 lbs in one month! 

I have to say for someone who is feeling a little low and weak minded about this at the moment it is appealing. However, I don't want to waste huge amounts of time and money trying to get that product in my hot little hands... I think that if I were to come across it at some point in my shopping travels maybe I'll try it out - but for now I should stick with the course of eating better and exercise. Those always work 100%.

Revealations... beachside...

Ok it's been a while... lots has happened and just looking at my last post, I obvi out did not keep with my goals... so I guess I will need to make new ones, modust ones, and start with a sjoshorter time period...

It's funny what you think about when at a beach destination place like Phuket. People come here from all over the world just to hang it all out there on the beach. This can do some serious damage to a 5 month post pregnancy body like mine... when am I going to find the time to get fit again with two minions under the age of 5 in my house? But I have the time! I am lucky that I have help... a wonderful lady, though maybe not the sharpest knife in the drawer is still someone that cares and loves my children. She's more than happy to play with them the extra hour so that I can exercise pretty much everyday.

So what's my problem? The same thing as always... imaptience, and food! I want results and I want them now! Why do I have to work so hard to get results... why can't I get results right away, then make me keep that up to maintain it! It isn't that I don't like the exercise, but when you don't feel great in the first place then it is harder to get back in the game. Like I said to my bootcamp instructor "I'm not fit enough to figure it out myself..."

But as always with me, it is the food... I eat crap... all the time. I may have cut back on the grease, but it's the carbs that are killing me and the significant lack of fruits and vegetables. Even now I am writing this on my tablet (hence my lack of fluency of writing) it is sitting on a very large belly, which makes me look like I am still pregnant! Ugh! However finally my body has said enough is enough and right now I feel quite I'll to my stomach... too many croissants,  cheeses, bacon at breakfast... , you body just can't do it anymore, and I don't have an excuse. If I don't get my shit together I never will...

There are other things of course...but that can be saved for another day... but maybe those will either get dealt with or will be easier to deal with once I sort out my healt... jo Estes if I can't figure that out, everything else is secondary... I  ant be a good mom, wife/girlfriend, sister, daughter, aunt, colleauge, friend if I am not happy with how I am right now...

So here we go to getting back in gear...

Task 1: Eat more fruits and veg, and MUCI less carbs... hopefully none...

Task 2: Yoga yoga yoga... with some spinning inbetween... I would say walk/run, but let need a new pair of runners and my time frame is for the next 10 weeks...

Task 3: blog it all... I'm not always communicating what is going on... so if I know I have to write it, maybe I need to talk to some people first about what I am feeling... it might be important to them and our relationship...

So let's how we go until our Winter break... that might be too long, let's say the next 4 weeks...

Still in Gear!

Yup, still here, still in gear! But WOW! I cannot believe that it is already December 19th and our first semester at the International School of Bangkok is almost at an end... 

I think after 5 months of being here in Thailand we have settled in pretty well. George is very happy at school and with his mae bann; we often get out on the weekends to the beach or up into the hills; we're starting to build a circle of friends; and we're all feeling pretty happy and healthy.

2012 has been a good year for us. We started the year being lawfully wedded boyfriend and girlfriend (and still wedded a year later today...) and knowing we were leaving the dust and pollution of Beijing, for the heat and humidity of Bangkok. We had/have an awesome group of friends in Beijing and since moving here we've still been able to be close and keep in touch. I had a couple of personal accomplishments - I completed the Great Wall Half Marathon and just recently the Standard Charter Bangkok Half Marathon in November. We've taken up a new sport - Stand Up Paddleboarding (SUP) and Murray has found his red bike and has been chased by wild pigs...

As I look to 2013 I realized that I really like having goals - it is a good motivator for me to keep to training regime. I am not disciplined enough to make sure that I am always eating right and be motivated to have a regular training programme... I like to be lazy :) Hopefully if I keep it up for longer than 6 weeks at a time, it will become second nature to me to make better choices. 

So a couple of goals for 2013 are...

Goal 1: Participate in 2 Half Marathons
Hopefully one in the summertime somewhere in Ontario (wine country would be preferable, but I haven't seen one yet) and the second one in Angkor-Wat at the beginning of December. Jackie you up for those?

Goal 2: Participate in some 10K races
Some is a vague number I know, but I'll make sure that they are here there and everywhere... I might do the BKK 10K instead of the half as it is a nice run around the palace... But the one 10K that I am signed up for is the North Face 100 Series where they have a 100K, 50K, 25K and a 10K. Maybe the year after I'll do the 25K. The 10 should be enough as it is through hills. There is also on in Kanchanaburi - that is supposed to be a nice one as well and in September.

Goal 3: Keep tracking food
I am a visual person in some ways and I like seeing the black and white numbers of how many calories I consume and how many I burn. And I like to see that the number I burn is more than what I consume. I have used a lot of meal tracking apps and so far the one I like is myfitnesspal.com. It's great because you can track your cardio and your food. If you made  your own food, then you can enter the ingredients and it tells you what the nutritional value of your food is. Love it! Also it should help with me making better choices with food. You know me I love my food - I am weak when it comes to food... but it does something to your head when you have to write it all down... then you say to yourself I don't want to input that so I won't eat it. Or I'll only input half of it because I know what that will do to my calorie count. Plus I feel better when I eat well... this just reminds me.

Goal 4: Keep blogging
Enough said... It's nice to talk it all out sometimes and even nicer that someone out there is reading it - thanks! I know I am very random with what I say... but thanks heaps to those of you who have read one or two of my musings...

Of course and overall goal is just to be content with what life has given me. I have to awesome men in my life and a great immediate family - making sure those are always happy and healthy.

So the gears are still running and I am glad that I haven't stalled (too many times)

Have a wonderful holiday season and here's to 2013!

Rain rain rain...

Okay, I have a reason for not posting on Tuesday and going for a run... During bootcamp the day before it POURED BUCKETS of rain. We were all soaked. We were swimming on a flat surface trying to do our workout... The workout continued, and we enjoyed the rain... but we were soaked through and through... So I put my shoes out to dry hoping that they would be dry by my 4:30 am wake-up call... Nope... still soaked... so then using the power of the internet I started researching about whether or not it is a good idea to run with wet shoes...

Some sites suggested that running with wet running shoes is good for training especially for specialty endurance races like Tough Mudder where they have you running through ponds and mud etc...

However there were many others that talk about blisters and how they can form from wet shoes or lack of moisture wicking from socks and so on... Being blister shy (I had a huge one on the back of my heel) I decided to crawl back into bed... but should I have? I probably could have toughen up and done the run with squishy shoes... but it wasn't very appealing to me... I like starting off the run with dry shoes and them getting wet while I am running... but not at the beginning of the run... So I stuffed my shoes full of newspaper and waited for them to dry...

But I did get up the next morning (Wednesday) and had an awesome run (5.6 k in 34 minutes) and for the first time didn't stop or have a huge blister on my heel (just needed to pull those socks up more!) Bootcamp was hard but awesome and we didn't get rained on!

Food was alright - lots of juice in the morning... little bit of pad thai and a salad for lunch, dinner was chicken and lots of roasted vegetables...

So, so far it's been a couple of days of being on track. I didn't get up this morning for the run... very tired from the day before's exercise... but I am planning on a run Friday morning and hopefully another one on the beach Saturday and Sunday... one of those needs to be a long run... but so far I'm keeping it in gear...

Seriously!!!! It's been a month!!!

Okay, okay, okay, I have been very negligent in my blogging... Seriously, have I really been neglecting my blogging responsibilities for a whole month... no wonder I feel like I've come of track lately... No focus, no discipline, no blogs!

Well enough of that... I need to get back on track. Even though I feel as though I have made one step in the right direction of that path, there is still a long way to go... Running - I need to amp that up... General workouts - been good since I have started doing Bootcamp twice a week... Food - still a disaster! HELP!!!!

Life in Bangkok has been good. The last month or so has seen my mom leave, a weekend in Bali, lots of rain, and our first little holiday on our own. Work-wise things are going well... getting into a groove with the kids and colleagues. Parent conferences were a breeze and I'm finally feeling like I am getting to know the kids a little more. Transition wise that is a little slower... I miss my girlfriends A LOT (you know who you are) and the social relationships that I had with them. I love my husband and son to no end, but I need some girls around me. That will slowly take shape I think - it just takes time. Plus I'm in no rush as Jackie keeps showing up at my door and Elaine and Nats are always a skype away...

Back to working out routine... that has been totally up and down... Some weeks I can get up in the morning and go for consecutive runs... other mornings it just doesn't happen. The great thing is that I have started Bootcamp twice a week. One of my parents runs the sessions and SHE IS AWESOME! I love it! It is a great reason to get out and do some exercise and after 4 sessions I am able to do pushups again! I'm still a bit away from being a little more toned - but that has to do with food (next paragraph). I also have committed myself to the BKK Halfmarathon, having just paid my entrance fee just recently. So I am in! I need to get 21km in sometime soon! I did wake up this morning and go for a 5km run, and I did Bootcamp this afternoon and I feel great! Let's hope that it happens again tomorrow... I will commit to it! That and a blog or a post that said I did it!

Food... always the bane of my existence... it just rules me... the yummies, the lack of reasoning about how I am going to feel after... the portions... when will I gain control... I know that it tends to happen when I am working out consistently... but then I need to work out consistently and it should be something I do on a regular basis... why is this so hard... why did I have such a weakness when it came to lunch and head to the pasta line? Actually it was the first time I went to the pasta line... but that is not the point! The salad line is where I want to be! It is good there! I can do this! Bread be gone (well not totally, but it must be controlled). But the good thing is that I am getting my fruit in... regular morning shake that is HUGE but it is good that I am having it... and veggies are a plenty.... so really I have no excuses...

But the life with the George and the Murray is good. My little man is happy to be going to school and we're considering sending him 5 days a week. He just got a scooter and he's bombing around on that... It is great to see his development. He's got great language skills... Babycenter has it all wrong... My kid just doesn't say "Dog sleep" he says "The dog is sleeping on the pillow on the floor..." If you know George you know he does that...

Murray is awesome as always... giving enough motivation to get my butt in gear and keeping me laughing... He's always thinking about the next opportunity to drive his truck all over Thailand... I think this weekend we are venturing to Hua Hin...

So overall life is good, just busy, but I need to seriously get my butt in gear for this run! I'm feeling good about it... I am sure that I can get up tomorrow and run! Here's hoping for 8km tomorrow morning!

September... the Real New Year

It's funny being in education where the new year really begins in September and not January... You're more likely to start a new "plan" when it is September... there is something about it being really the beginning of a new year... It must be because it is the end of summer and usually summer vacations, or could be that most kids are back in school, the joy of all the new back-to-school supplies, clothes, etc, not to mention fall fashion season, series premiers, openings and more...

The other key motivator... working off those summer alcohol calories. How can you resist the call of a cold beer on the lake at the end of a day of digging holes (well I didn't do that this year... but I brought the beer)... or running through the forest chasing after your bacchi ball as it falls down into the lake... hmmm a lot of this has to do with the lake... but with the lake comes lots of exercise too... which was great...

But back to my original thought... all those al fresco evenings with a great bottle of wine... somehow we have to make up for all those extra calories! September brings that fresh new start to the year... new school year, new beginnings, new programme...

Now, I haven't really started a new programme, still working on the training for the BKK Half in November. But I do finally feel a little settled... almost to the point of feeling a little restless... Running has been great... eating is good (can't go too wrong when you need to avoid all street food for fear of Bangkok belly and your mae baan makes lots of veg and cuts up all my fruit...) but now it is time to find some things to participate in... Thai language courses will start soon... that will help, and there are a couple of social events that are happening that will help me get in the swing of some things... The running people are nice... it's been nice to get to know them a very little... but these things take time... and a little effort on my part... we'll see...

On another note... running has been good... I've been following the Smart Coach App by Runners world... so far it is alright right... Nice to have a plan... but right now it has me only running 3 times a week with cross training days in between... I might add an extra day to that... but so far I have done some of the speed work and tempo runs that they have suggested. When I run with the kids, that is motivating because they are quick so they push my pace up and now I can comfortably run a 6 minute km... and even do that a little faster. I beat my goal of a 5:30 minute kilometer doing the Panther Run on the weekend...so I am very happy about that... now I need to find the time to run in the morning. I can do it especially if I run on the mornings where I don't teach first block... I can run in for a meeting at 7:20... but not class... let's see how it goes this week... That will mean am runs on Wednesday and Thursday. I hope it works out for me!

Food has been good aswell... been trying to eat lots of fruits and veg and that helps when someone is making food for you... The other thing is the heat... I just can't eat something that is heavy or deep fried to much... it just sits in you. I haven't been drinking too much either... another good thing as it just slows you down and if you're not hydrated enough its not going to be a good thing! I'll have to watch out as I am heading for a very fun weekend in Bali for a friends weekend... better start building up my strength now... But overall I think I am doing alright...